VULVA MASSAGE TECHNIQUES

Vulva massage begins with "indirect contact" (indirect caresses). Indirect contact means first indirect contact with the vulva and then indirect contact with the clitoris. Direct contact with these areas should begin after adequate blood flow to the area has been established. (You still don't have massage oil on your hands.)

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VULVA

Palm the vulva with your fingertips down and wrist up (towards the navel). Keep your hand still, putting a little more pressure on the major lips. Then make a circular motion without rubbing your hand against the skin. Move on to kneading dough movement gradually. After a while, stroke the navel with your other hand. (If you are on the right side of your partner according to you, you caress the vulva with your left hand and the navel with your right hand.)

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CLITORIS MASSAGE TECHNIQUES

Let's get down to the basics before we get into the detailed techniques: Do not directly stimulate the clitoris! Especially at the beginning...

According to a study by the famous sex education website OMGYes;
- 60-70% of women expect contact with the clitoris after getting excited,
- About 40-45% want the top or bottom of the clitoris to be stroked,
- Only 20-25% like direct and hard caresses.

Since the expectations are varied, the best thing to do when dating a woman for the first time is to start slow and move forward by trying.

There are three main topics to be considered while stimulating the clitoris (applying the techniques).

These are;
- pressure amount,
- speed amount,
- application angle.

Over time, the amount of their use in each technique is learned by trial and error.

The pressure amount expectation is variable. However, more than half of women prefer soft caresses. Very light or hard caresses are not found attractive by most.

Getting the right technique in a pool of wide possibilities is really difficult. Most of the men take care to look like they know what to do (exhibiting the expert model) due to our masculine character. However, in sex world, the behavior in question is not correct; What needs to be done is to be in contact with the partner, that is, to ask her what she wants. There is absolutely no shame in asking! It is impossible to reach detailed "expectation-setting" information because women's personalities, previous experiences, trust and closeness to you is very very different. It is true; there are some basic techniques; but their correct amount of pressure, speed and angle can only be achieved by communication.

CIRCLE

The basic movement to be performed in the clitoris caress is the circle.

Male-female sexual union is accepted on the basis of the vagina-penis relationship in patriarchal culture. (The aforementioned approach is followed even in science. See "Orgasm Gap - Scientific sexism" Wikipedia) This is because for centuries, the female genitalia was seen only as the vagina.

Clitoral stimulation during penile-vaginal intercourse: A phenomenological study exploring sexual experiences in support of female orgasm
Angela Towne
Penile-vaginal intercourse (PVI) is the most common partnered (hetero)sexual behaviour in North America. Many women participate in PVI but do not acquire the clitoral stimulation they may need to orgasm as desired resulting in a gender-based orgasm gap during partnered sex.

However, the vagina-penis relationship is completely inadequate for female orgasm. The requirement for female orgasm is stimulation of the clitoris (and preferably the vagina too) with the hands, tongue and lips.

The Incidental Orgasm: The Presence of Clitoral Knowledge and the Absence of Orgasm for Women
Wade, Lisa D.; Kremer, Emily C.; Brown, Jessica
Women report anorgasmia and other difficulties achieving orgasm. One approach to alleviating this problem is to teach women about the clitoris. This assumes that women lack information about the clitoris and that knowledge about the clitoris is correlated with orgasm. (..) Knowledge correlated significantly with the frequency of women's orgasm in masturbation but not partnered sex. Our results are discussed in light of gender inequality and a social construction of sexuality, endorsed by both men and women, that privileges men's sexual pleasure over women's, such that orgasm for women is pleasing, but ultimately incidental.

Climax as Work: Heteronormativity, Gender Labor, and the Gender Gap in Orgasms
Nicole Andrejek, Tina Fetner, Melanie Heath
(..) we extend this research to show that both men and women engage in gender labor to explain and justify the gender gap in orgasms. Relying on an essentialist view of gender, a narrow understanding of what counts as sex, and moralistic language that recalls the sexual double standard, our participants craft a narrative of women's orgasms as work and men's orgasms as natural. The work to produce this gendered narrative of sexuality mirrors the gender labor that takes place in the bedroom, where both women and men engage in sexual behaviors that emphasize men's pleasure to a greater extent than women's.

Evidence to suggest that copulatory vocalizations in women are not a reflexive consequence of orgasm
Gayle Brewer, Colin A Hendrie
The studies revealed that orgasm was most frequently reported by women following self-manipulation of the clitoris, manipulation by the partner, oral sex delivered to the woman by a man, and least frequently during vaginal penetration.

Studies have shown that heterosexual men do not engage in approaches such as stimulating the clitoris and vagina with hands and tongue, which pushes heterosexual women to be the least orgasmic group among various sexual orientation groups.

Differences in Orgasm Frequency Among Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Heterosexual Men and Women in a U.S. National Sample
David A. Frederick, H. Kate St. John, Justin R. Garcia, Elisabeth A. Lloyd
Heterosexual men were most likely to say they usually-always orgasmed when sexually intimate (95%), followed by gay men (89%), bisexual men (88%), lesbian women (86%), bisexual women (66%), and heterosexual women (65%). Compared to women who orgasmed less frequently, women who orgasmed more frequently were more likely to: receive more oral sex (..).

Other studies have also revealed that the reason for the lack of sexual satisfaction in women is the low involvement of clitoral stimulation in hetero sex. This fact is captured strikingly in Laurie B. Mintz's book "Becoming cliterate : why orgasm equality matters -- and how to get it".

Wikipedia refers to the book as follows:
"In her book, Mintz mentions that "the primary cause of this form of gender inequality is our cultural ignorance of the clitoris," and points to the "prevalence of mislabeling the female genitalia as the one piece (vagina) that gives reliable orgasms to men but not women."

Worldcat.org refers to the book as follows:
Summary:We've been thinking about sex all wrong. Mainstream media, movies, and porn have taught us that sex = penis + vagina, and everything else is just secondary. Standard penetration is how men most reliably achieve orgasm. The problem is, women don't orgasm this way. We've separated our most reliable route to orgasm - clitoral stimulation - from how we feel we should orgasm - penetration. As a result, we've created a pleasure gap between women and men.

Generally, the culprit of the situation in question is sought and the punishment is usually given to men. With straight logic, it is true, the main actor in creating the result is the bad performance of the men. However, do these faulty attitudes of men stem from their fundamentally negative character structures or are they from habits that they unknowingly (what they think are right, or that they don't feel the need to research if they are right). Perhaps men have no fault other than applying what has been taught to them by culture since childhood.

If you ask me, before labeling the entire male sex as selfish, insensitive, thoughtless and rude, it should be focused on what truths and with what oppression are imposed on men. It should not be forgotten that some studies also reveal that men attach importance to their partners' orgasm.

Accounting for Women's Orgasm and Sexual Enjoyment in College Hookups and Relationships
Armstrong, Elizabeth A.; England, Paula; Fogarty, Alison C. K. (2012)
Both men and women reported that men are typically not concerned with women's pleasure in hookups, but both reported that men are very attentive to women's pleasure in relationships.

Orgasm, which heterosexual women cannot easily achieve, is a much more important and necessary concept than is thought. The importance of sexuality is directly related to having an orgasm.

Determinants of female sexual orgasms
Osmo Kontula, Anneli Miettinen
The pursuit of sexual pleasure is a key motivating factor in sexual activity. An orgasm is an effective indicator of sexual pleasure and healthy sexuality. In addition, orgasms are important predictors of happy relationships, and related sexual satisfaction. Without a doubt, a better understanding of the predictors of female sexual orgasms would be a most valuable achievement, and would be one key factor in improving equality among women, and gender equality (World Association for Sexual Health).

The value of orgasm (it means more than just nice moments at the end of sexual intercourse) is most strikingly revealed by the hormone (neurotransmitter) called oxytocin: oxytocin, which is secreted to a peak during orgasm, is health and happiness in many areas from physiological to psychological.

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Studies show that women's sexual expectation is just like men's, sexual intercourse that results in orgasm.

Can we treat anorgasmia in women? The challenge to experiencing pleasure
Ellen Laan, Alessandra H. Rellini
Evidence is provided to suggest that orgasms are important for women's sexual satisfaction. (..) In contrast to current suggestions that inability to orgasm during vaginal intercourse points to psychological immaturity, data are presented that imply that women's orgasm consistency in all forms of partnered sexual activity is associated with sexual autonomy (i.e., the extent to which one feels that one's sexual behaviours are self-determined).

In this book, manual clitoral stimulations (and manual vaginal stimulations to be added to these) are described, which will provide female orgasm, require sensitive technique and conscious touches, and cannot be performed with the penis.

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Do Women's Orgasms Function as a Masculinity Achievement for Men?
Sara B. Chadwick, Sari M. van Anders
Our results showed that men felt more masculine and reported higher sexual esteem when they imagined that a woman orgasmed during sexual encounters with them, and that this effect was exacerbated for men with high masculine gender role stress. These results suggest that women's orgasms do function at least in part as a masculinity achievement for men.

So why can't men get their partners to orgasm?

Studies show that heterosexual women do not reach orgasm as much as women in lesbian relationships.

Differences in Orgasm Frequency Among Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Heterosexual Men and Women in a U.S.
David A Frederick, H Kate St John, Justin R Garcia, Elisabeth A Lloyd
We analyzed a large US sample of adults (N = 52,588) who identified as heterosexual men (n = 26,032), gay men (n = 452), bisexual men (n = 550), lesbian women (n = 340), bisexual women (n = 1112), and heterosexual women (n = 24,102). Heterosexual men were most likely to say they usually-always orgasmed when sexually intimate (95%), followed by gay men (89%), bisexual men (88%), lesbian women (86%), bisexual women (66%), and heterosexual women (65%). Compared to women who orgasmed less frequently, women who orgasmed more frequently were more likely to: receive more oral sex, have longer duration of last sex, (..)

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